Move Over, Miss Perfect

Do you have an internal Miss or Mister Perfect that critiques your choices and desires more harshly than most of your friends or family members ever would?  Does she like to whisper sweet nothings to you about what others might think or whether you’ll measure up?  Or is she constantly on call to evaluate career choices, acceptable jeans sizes, or whether you’re successful enough yet?

Perfectionism can be such a wretch – at its worst keeping us from giving of the deepest, truest parts of ourselves because there is no better gift than giving from the heart.

What a joy it was for me to teach four yoga classes today ~ two pubic adult classes, one for the girls at San Diego Center for Children, and one corporate.

Who knew that getting out of my own way and allowing teaching to be learning-at-its-best could be so fulfilling?  When a friend told me four years ago to quit my corporate job and teach yoga for a year, I honestly thought he was insulting me.  My internal perfectionist had deemed a select number of career choices to be worthy and respectable, and teaching yoga was not one of them.  Alas, I did start teaching.

And, yes, I love teaching teens.  They are my sweet spot and for some reason, we just get along.  But quite honestly, I steered relatively clear of adults for years because I was scared of teaching them!  I naturally felt into what the teens needed, yet at the thought of teaching adults, I was met by a wall of what-if’s.  What if I messed up?  What if I suck?  What if, what if, what if.

I spent years worrying about being “good enough,” and the craziest part is that voice was so normal, my conscious mind was deaf to it.  The voice of “Miss Perfect” was so ingrained that I didn’t even realize she was running the show.

Only now that I have forced her grip loose by being courageous, choosing love, and taking on situations that once scared me do I see that she kept me from really living…which I realize comes from really serving…from giving of that which is most true to one’s heart.

Miss / Mister Perfect is a liar. Yes, you may have to mess up a couple times, which is perfect ammo for her to say, “Told you so.”  Don’t listen.  Remember, she is a liar trying to keep you from your highest and best.  Keep going.  Believe me, it’s worth it.

Instead, consider that voice might just be your friend…a guidepost signaling where you are MOST meant to be.  Is Miss Perfect screaming?  She may just be guarding a path to one of your heart’s truest gifts being called forth to share with the world.

Now why would some crazy perfectionist be standing guard around our truest desires?  Because of course, those are the places where, yes, we can fall, have our heart broken, and GET HURT.

No longer does she get to have last word, however.  No longer does the FEAR of getting hurt outweigh the POSSIBILITY of my heart’s full expression here on earth.  It’s time to let go and love…are you ready?

Notes like this could just be on the other side:









Love Wins.


PS: I am still in the process of redoing this website, so please, be forgiving.  (At least a bit more so than Miss Perfect.)  I’m walking my talk and allowing my im-PERFECT site continue to be a place to express, share and connect while I iron out the kinks.  Thank you.


  1. Gead on February 1, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    But how often did “Miss Perfection” get it right? How often has the world changed when “perfect” happened? Mozart. Einstein. Jobs. “Perfect” lives in us, best we make friends with her.

    • Stephanie on February 20, 2013 at 10:09 am

      Excellent point, HG. You are right that perfection lives within each of us, and the people you named were in touch with their perfect nature in a way that allowed it to express as genius. That said, an unhealthy perfectionist voice clouds our ability to see and express that genius. Perhaps semantics here. When we allow what is already perfect to express rather than allowing our focus to be on condemning flaws, we create a healthy relationship with perfection…that is, in essence, shifting from fear to love. Thank you for your comment.

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