Motherhood

Between Worlds: On Waiting to Become a Mother to Two

The nearly-full November moon rises from behind the mountains on Tahoe’s east shore.  I’ve watched the skies over the past months, as each wax and wane marked an opening, a welcoming, a greater preparedness for the coming of our son. I lay on my left side, one pillow tucked under my head, another between my…

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October Update!

Since October of last year, I have lived in two different towns in Southern Baja and two here in the US with my husband, now two-year-old-daughter, trusty Labrador and baby-on-the-way (yes, baby boy Russell is coming this holiday season!).  We have also traversed the nation – from the tip of Baja to Vancouver Island, throughout…

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Blessed is this Life: Thoughts on the Eve of 39

Tomorrow I turn 39, and I approach this birthday with a full heart. Life looks different than it once did. Mostly, I have finally come home to myself. Being in my skin is comfortable, relaxing even. And all that I do – the many roles I fill as wife, mother, coach, friend, and more –…

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I Choose Sobriety | 1 Year

“Mama! Ma—-maaaaa!!” Lily exclaims as she crawls over to me in the dark, steadying her small, soft hands on my cheeks and nose. Before I try to open my eyes, the thought, “It’s too early for this,” runs through my mind. I take a deep breath and look over at my daughter’s bright eyes that…

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When Things Fall Apart

Day 1. On the first leg of my travel from Cabo to Nashville, I write this blog on the ways leaving my daughter for the first time since her birth is touching my heart. After boarding the second leg in Houston, we deplane before takeoff due to a mechanical issue. The gate attendant says there…

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She’s Not a Baby Anymore

“I would like to bring Lily to the airport when you drop me off.  That way, if she’s wondering where I am, she can remember that I went on an airplane (she knows them well by now after all of our travel together),” I told Dave a couple of days ago. But in this morning’s…

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WOW: 4 Matrilineal Generations

My grandmother is beckoning a smile from my daughter by tapping her arm and meowing while holding her lifelike orange toy tabby cat. My mom says something to her in Japanese, and my grandmother momentarily breaks her focus on Lily to respond in a curt tone.  Her facial expression shifts again as she turns back…

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Between Two Mother’s Days

My 20-month old toddler and I are flying from Mexico to San Francisco today – a flight we’ve done together at least a handful of times. I decide to leave my Ergo at home for the first time since I started traveling with Lily at 6-weeks-old, and my heart flutters as she walks the whole…

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WOW: Seashells with Lily

“Mama, more shells,” says Lily as she beckons to me from under the shade of her hiking backpack perched on Dave’s shoulders as we walk down a seemingly endless stretch of white sand beach. Dave throws a log back into the perfectly warm 76 degree aquamarine sea, and our dog Bandon sprints into the beach…

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