Motherhood

My Favorite 2 Little Words

“Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything) That’s how the light gets in” – Leonard Cohen The corners of blackout film we’ve applied to this bedroom’s large windows have started to peel back, lighting the room just enough for me to have a sense…

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A Day of Death and Life at the Beach

“How about we go to Palm Beach today?” Dave asks as I hand him a glass of the dark purple, nutrient-dense smoothie I’ve just prepared. “Sure,” I answer. An hour later, we are packing up the car, and he asks if I want my fins. “No, thanks; I’m not swimming in that water,” I reply,…

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Pink Medicine

I lower a needleless syringe, tip filled with gooey, bubblegum pink liquid, into my 3-month-old son’s mouth. His eyes, still blue, draw in mine, and my attention traces the edges of their almond shape. “Okay, my boy, it’s time for the medicine that will help make you all better,” I tell him. He smiles back,…

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Adiós 2018: Reflections on a wonder-filled year

As 2018 comes to a close, I sit down to write with my nearly 4-week old son propped up on a blanket and nursing pillow as he gulps down yet another snack. I lightheartedly wonder to myself if he is the hungriest man alive. In my loose plan for the day, I had hoped Theo would…

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Between Worlds: On Waiting to Become a Mother to Two

The nearly-full November moon rises from behind the mountains on Tahoe’s east shore.  I’ve watched the skies over the past months, as each wax and wane marked an opening, a welcoming, a greater preparedness for the coming of our son. I lay on my left side, one pillow tucked under my head, another between my…

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October Update!

Since October of last year, I have lived in two different towns in Southern Baja and two here in the US with my husband, now two-year-old-daughter, trusty Labrador and baby-on-the-way (yes, baby boy Russell is coming this holiday season!).  We have also traversed the nation – from the tip of Baja to Vancouver Island, throughout…

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Blessed is this Life: Thoughts on the Eve of 39

Tomorrow I turn 39, and I approach this birthday with a full heart. Life looks different than it once did. Mostly, I have finally come home to myself. Being in my skin is comfortable, relaxing even. And all that I do – the many roles I fill as wife, mother, coach, friend, and more –…

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I Choose Sobriety | 1 Year

“Mama! Ma—-maaaaa!!” Lily exclaims as she crawls over to me in the dark, steadying her small, soft hands on my cheeks and nose. Before I try to open my eyes, the thought, “It’s too early for this,” runs through my mind. I take a deep breath and look over at my daughter’s bright eyes that…

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When Things Fall Apart

Day 1. On the first leg of my travel from Cabo to Nashville, I write this blog on the ways leaving my daughter for the first time since her birth is touching my heart. After boarding the second leg in Houston, we deplane before takeoff due to a mechanical issue. The gate attendant says there…

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