Blessed is this Life: Thoughts on the Eve of 39

Sep 1, 2018

Tomorrow I turn 39, and I approach this birthday with a full heart. Life looks different than it once did. Mostly, I have finally come home to myself. Being in my skin is comfortable, relaxing even. And all that I do – the many roles I fill as wife, mother, coach, friend, and more –…

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Hands in the Dirt

Aug 22, 2018

My breath tastes of compost and dust as I scoop a handful of damp earth with my right hand and gently place the roots of an arugula start into its new home with my left. I pat soil back around the hopeful green sprout and wish it ease and endurance as it settles in. I…

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On Hiroshima & Choosing Peace

Aug 6, 2018

Today, August 6th, 2018, is the 73rd anniversary of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima by the United States. The white concrete ceiling supported by horizontally-running exposed redwood beams soars at least two stories above the heads of about 150 seated attendees at Sunday’s gathering at the Green Gulch Zen Center in Mill Valley. Something about…

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I Choose Sobriety | 1 Year

Jul 5, 2018

“Mama! Ma—-maaaaa!!” Lily exclaims as she crawls over to me in the dark, steadying her small, soft hands on my cheeks and nose. Before I try to open my eyes, the thought, “It’s too early for this,” runs through my mind. I take a deep breath and look over at my daughter’s bright eyes that…

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Jun 18, 2018

A gray mist envelops us in a damp hug that leaves its cold sweat on exposed skin.  The condensation is warmer than the biting winds that sweep through the canyon with seeming mockery as they push directly at us from ahead. We are three-quarters of the way into our three-week private rafting trip through the Grand…

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WOW: When the Process is Enough

Jun 3, 2018

“Activation and cultivation of the imagination is a practice.  Wildness is its breeding ground — wildness of place, wildness of heart and mind.” – Albert Flynn De Silver, Writing as a Path to Awakening “Why am I writing?  I mean, what’s the point?” I say to my coach as serpent fingers of yearning try to…

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When Things Fall Apart

May 31, 2018

Day 1. On the first leg of my travel from Cabo to Nashville, I write this blog on the ways leaving my daughter for the first time since her birth is touching my heart. After boarding the second leg in Houston, we deplane before takeoff due to a mechanical issue. The gate attendant says there…

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She’s Not a Baby Anymore

May 24, 2018

“I would like to bring Lily to the airport when you drop me off.  That way, if she’s wondering where I am, she can remember that I went on an airplane (she knows them well by now after all of our travel together),” I told Dave a couple of days ago. But in this morning’s…

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On Living Near Our Food Sources

May 17, 2018

On my regular route home to our beachfront respite for the season, I turn left off the main highway onto the 5km dirt road that winds through farmland, passed our favorite farm-to-table restaurant and the stable where we take our daughter to feed apples to horses. Landing in El Pescadero somewhat by chance, we felt…

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WOW: 4 Matrilineal Generations

May 15, 2018

My grandmother is beckoning a smile from my daughter by tapping her arm and meowing while holding her lifelike orange toy tabby cat. My mom says something to her in Japanese, and my grandmother momentarily breaks her focus on Lily to respond in a curt tone.  Her facial expression shifts again as she turns back…

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