Do you daydream about the grass being greener? At times, I do. One trigger is the common question, “Why aren’t you married?” So glad you asked.
Let’s cut to the chase. Would I like to be married now? Sure, my perfectly designed plan included meeting prince charming years ago and our happily-ever-after with two brilliant kids by now. Fortunately, life doesn’t always adhere to my plans.
At 32, life is in ways better than I could have ever imagined, and yet that “I wish I had someone to talk to about this/cuddle/do life with right now” conversation does seep in from time to time.
So yes, I would like to be passionately partnered, and since I’m not, I thought to take a moment to appreciate just how awesome single life is. Because it is. While an old couple holding hands or a smiling baby can stir thoughts of greener grass, I am happy and very grateful to be exactly where I am.
Why do I celebrate single life?
1. I know who I am (at least somewhat): I’ve taken the time to learn about who I am and consider who I was created to be rather than just being who everyone wants me to be. I have learned what makes me tick, what kind of people I truly enjoy being around, and what kind of work lights me up inside. I’ve experienced heartache, healing, and great joy, and this experience of the fullness of life has given me a great deal of compassion.
2. Deep friendships with great girlfriends: Especially over the past few years, I have enjoyed the blessing of deep and true friendship. Cultivating relationship with my girlfriends has been among my highest priorities, and I’ve been very grateful for a time to forge solid and authentic friendships with such inspiring women. Highlights of my weeks include meeting friends for early morning walks, gym dates, and dinners. What a blessing to do so with such amazing ladies!
3. Ironing out the kinks: I appreciate the learning moments and incredible growth that I’ve endured so that I will be able to be the partner I want to be rather than the self-centered person I was. (I never thought of myself as self-centered; in fact, I thought I was generous. But truth be told, ego was running the show uncontested.) I know it must shock you, but I had a few kinks to iron out, and I’m glad to have had the opportunity to do so.
4. Don’t settle: Could I be married? Probably – if I was willing to settle. The 80% – hey, 90% even – right has come along, but I’ve listened to that little voice telling me not to settle. I believe it’s guiding me to the perfectly-designed partner for me…wherever he is, whenever he might come. Learning to not settle in business and life has been a valuable lesson. It’s been risky and has required courage at times, but it’s proved to always be worth it in the end.
5. Doing what I want when I want…for the most part: I appreciate being able to honor my life’s natural flow for a while. I will enjoy it while I can! Do I want to go to yoga? I can! Walk Torrey? That too! Work until midnight? Yup. I naturally tend to put other people’s needs before mine, so the time alone allows me to find the beat of my own drum and march to it! Being able to follow my heart has helped me ground into my values in a way that I hadn’t before – to create a life by design rather than default.
So, as Alison Armstrong of PAX mentions, I will keep “sorting” until I find that one my heart has been looking for. (She teaches that we should, “Sort and sort fast!”) In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy how great single life really is.
Remember, the grass is never greener on the other side. It may just look that way. Appreciate where you are when you’re there because chances are, it will be your only shot to live that season of life to the fullest. I know I am.
Do you love being exactly where you are right now? Share your experience below!
Little choices + time = wholehearted change.
Photo Credit: http://pinterest.com/pin/134545107587832492/