What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

Marshall Goldsmith

Marshall Goldsmith, NYT bestselling author of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There and preeminent executive coach, lectured at the most recent class in my masters program.  As I mentioned, his book inspired this 90 Day Challenge, so when a classmate emailed me this picture of Marshall and I tonight, I thought him great inspiration for the Day 7/90 share.

Here’s one of my favorite excerpts from his book: “Apologizing is the most magical, healing, restorative gesture human beings can make. It is the centerpiece of my work with executives who want to get better – because without the apology there is no recognition that mistakes have been made, there is no announcement to the world of the intention to change, and most important there is no emotional contract between you and the people you care about…it will change your life, as if by magic.”

So true.  There is such magic and possibility in our humility.  In our culture we’re taught we should look like we know it all; that we can do it all ourselves.  But the truth is that we all have such a deep need for belonging – to love and be loved for both our greatness and our faults.

In class, Marshall’s advice to us was simple: Help more; judge less.  Be willing to ask, “What can I do to be a better partner in this relationship?”

We can spend so much time proving ourselves – sometimes by judging others and making them wrong, other times by needing to doing every ourselves (because no one can do it as well as well can, right?) or never really listening.

How much time do we spend on being the best partner we can be – to our family members, business colleagues, and friends?  In the end, we remember our relationships, and Marshall encouraged us to focus on being the best person we can be in them more often.  Give up being right, and start being real.

His simple solution to developing yourself as a leader and partner included the following steps:

  • Ask
  • Listen
  • Think
  • Thank
  • Respond
  • Involve
  • Change
  • Follow Up

He left us with the following advice:  Help people & be happy NOW.

On that note, week one is complete!

How has Week 1 been, you wonder?  Joyful and hope-filled.  I have had more than a few people now comment on how I seem to be “lit up” or “shining.”  One said, “You are a breath of fresh air!”  Something’s different.  The extra attention to Love seems to be paying off, and we’ve only just begun.

♥ 90 Days of Love: 7/90 loving choices.
Little choices + time =  wholehearted change.

(This post also inspired me to add another section to this blog called Leading from Love.  In this section, I’ll post learnings from my masters program, as well as other inspirations I find on heart-centered leadership.  I hope you find them useful.)

 

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